As much as we might want to consider ourselves free thinking beings, it is inescapable truth that we pursue the yummy. We operate based on incentives and sense perceptions. It’s not a sin, it’s simply a statement of fact and we will, based on that, find how best to advice our Zimbabwean men on what the ladies want.
Just in the same way you want your lady to be sexy and good looking, or just in same way you are attracted to a well dressed, confident, good smelling woman than a shabby one, ladies expect the same from you. They even expect more than what you think. Be in your best look as much as you can.
(a) Wear clothes that complement your best features.
And that’s not enough. (b) Always take a good shower, and wear some good cologne. You don’t wanna smell like a trash can. No! (c) Brush your teeth! If you have bad breathe, it is even more important. You might even need some pocket mints. Like Shinsoman sang, “Ndakachena, hona fresh haircut!” Yebo. Be at your best. Also, what’s up with that big tummy lately? No kadumbu kemasese. (d) Always exercise and keep your body in the best shape.
Six pack will be most appreciated, even though she will not tell you that kuti enda unotanga waita six pack. Don’t relegate yourself to a Sir Wicknell.
2. Financial Security
Money is important. Don’t ever be mistaken. The lack thereof will cost you your happiness. Money can buy! Mari inotenga. She wants to be sure you can provide for her. If you cannot meet her demands or her wants, leave her alone and find one who can fit well within your means.
Oftentimes when men label women as “gold-diggers” it’s simply because they cannot meet the demands of the woman. That’s not a problem, really. Tsvaga anofambirana nehomwe dzako. Someone’s bone is someone’s meat, ha ha ha. Ours is a patriarchal society and men are the providers in most households. So, she will want to know whether you can foot the bills.
3. Sincerity/ Genuineness
Who wants to be cheated? Who wants to be lied to? Be yourself and most importantly be forthcoming on what you want. If you want a good time, endaka kumaAvenues. Go there and find what you are looking for. Don’t hurt well meaning, serious ladies. Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be what you are not, with a fake British or American accent. No! If you have never been there, don’t fake it. You will be there one day.
Don’t borrow your friend’s clothes or your friend’s wheels. She will appreciate it so much if you are just express exactly who you are. Not doing so is a sign of a seriously fractured self image and a true lady will quickly pick that up and shut you out.
4. Sense of Humor
Seriously, who wants to date a dump guy? As a man, you are only going to be attractive to a serious woman if you are fun being around. And by being fun that doesn’t translate to being funny. No! Big NO! No Aijigija stuff. She doesn’t want a clown.
She expects you to make her laugh now and then. Show her that you are creative. Pop up a funny joke now and then. Jokes are tricky though. Know your lady first I would say, because you don’t want a case where she ask you if you are done with the ‘joke’ so that she can start laughing. “Ndiudze kana wapedza, ndiseke.” Iiii! No kusvenga guys. Avoid that with all your might.
You can still talk about real life stuff, but give it a spin to make it interesting and laughter-provoking. She wants you to be intellectually stimulating and a huge part of this includes the ability to start and sustain a unique conversation? Show her that you care about the world and that you take time to read and understand what’s going on.
Yeah! That’s what it’s all about! However, this ought to be done with moderation and care. It will be quite weird to her if from nowhere to just go,” So babe, what do you think about Tsvangirai?” or “Do you really like Jacob Zuma?” What!?! Oh God!! Seriously?! Then when she kicks your ass you commit suicide. That’s what you deserve! Ehe! Everything ought to be done with moderation, including moderation itself, they say.
7. Chivalry/ Being romantic
Don’t be a stoic. “One man for himself, God’s for us all.” That’s the worst attitude to bring into a relationship. If you are like that then, what’s the point? Relationship is all about love and care and sharing. Isn’t it? Then show it!
Show her that you care by opening the door before she does, pulling her chair for her to sit, and asking her if she is comfortable in her position. Small things like that. Ask her if you can get her anything. Like, “Honey, can I get you a drink? What do you like?” If she likes coffee, go the little extra mile by asking, “How do you like your coffee?” Things like this make your relationship to “faya.” It’s never out of fashion to buy your woman some flowers, you know. Or dropping a card at her workplace to let her know though you are busy you are thinking about her. Send her a text. Not just a text. Send her a sweet text. Be like, “Honey, how is your work going so far?” You see? Instead of texting her saying, “Uripi?! Naani?!” Try this instead and you will notice the difference it will bring to your relationship.
8. Sense of Direction
It would add to your appeal if you are a goal-oriented person with specific plans for your future and willing to put in the hard work and courage to meet the goals. You may be an artist, teacher or a technical professional; whatever the field, keep your energy and ambition running to impress her.
9. Listen to her
A girlfriend is happy when her boyfriend takes the time to listen to what she has to say. She wants a patient ear to share her day at work, her interests, and her successes and disappointments.
Listening to your girlfriend is an opportunity to get to know her better as a person. Women want men who can respect their intelligence and feelings. Allow her to have her own views and opinions about things. Practice gestures such as inviting her to join you and your friends on an outing so that she knows you’re proud to be with her. Respect also means avoiding intrusion into her personal space and trusting her enough to live her own life.
10. Notice and Compliment her
Whether she has lost a few kilos or is wearing a new dress, a girl likes her boyfriend to notice the change and appreciate it. Say something like, “That’s a new dress I’m seeing, right? The color complements your skin very well.” The more specific you are, the more points you earn.