92 Year Old Zimbabwe President: I Never Said I am Retiring
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, I notice that the media has been awash with misleading reports suggesting that I am abandoning the revolution by hanging my political boots. This is certainly not true. Neither did I say anything remotely in that direction. That was dangerously misleading, and I thought it was important that I correct this so that you pass it on to the grassroots so that there is never any confusion.
Surely, how can I be out of sync with the people so badly that I can be talking of abandoning the revolution when all the party structures and provinces are clamouring that we should take the revolution to its logical conclusion.
The people still have oodles of confidence in our leadership, which explains why only a few months ago, the Youth League organised a successful million man march, just to repose their confidence in the party’s leadership.
I have just finished routing the imperialist forces for them and the people know that the time has come for us to ensure that our successful land reform is concluded; ensuring that our people reap the fruits of our indigenisation programme… and also just to ensure that our people enjoy the milk and honey… the cloying goodies that have kept the imperialist vultures lurking in our skies for this long.
These evil people in the West can’t wait to see our party losing power, but sadly for them, that wait is going to last longer than most of them. This is God’s plan, not ours.
One thing that I can assure all of you Cdes is that when service to the people is a calling, one gets satisfaction that not even all the money in the world can distract our attention to deliver on our promises… this is what keeps me going.
I always tell you that it is cold out there… only last week, Didymus — of all the people in this world! — called; pretending like he was concerned about the President’s health and that of his family, when in fact he was trying to sweet-talk him into picking him from the dustbin of history. It was not an accident of coincidence at all that he called just days after the party had re-instated several members of the party like Cde Nicholas, Cde Webster and others… We could tell that he did not sleep for several days after watching those Cdes marching back into Shake Shake Building and it dawned on him that he might not be able to serve the people ever again. He is now realising that what their Western handlers had been promising them is a moon, which promise only a fool can believe.
If I were him, I would have gotten straight to the point… that I am very sorry for misbehaving and that I was a prodigal son who wanted to return home, instead of trying to be clever.
Anyway, let’s us see how it all goes.