BECAUSE the world is moving at such a fast pace things happen and are quickly forgotten about as the next scandal ensues
Mighty Warriors forward Kudakwashe Bhasopo was a massive beneficiary of such a hectic news cycle.
The vastly talented Bhasopo last month confirmed to H-metro that a picture that apparently shows her performing an oral sexual act on a woman only known as Fungai was authentic.
“May the good Lord help me,” Bhasopo cried. “I was drunk on the day and could not see that Fungai was recording the act. I have seen the light and I have repented and I am looking forward to better in life.”
Every saint has a past. Paul was Saul before the light.
The good thing is that Bhasopo realised that hakusi kuda kwashe uku. But my question is, do these shenanigans also go in the Mighty Warriors camp?
If yes, as most of the players I have spoken to claim, then what the hell are we doing?
Another thing that went unscrutinised was Bongani Mafu’s puff piece that hailed Phillip Chiyangwa as the best thing to happen to local football since Fifa inducted us into the world family.
That Mafu’s rear-polishing missive came at a time when Zifa were about to decide on the man or woman to take over the technical director’s post made it very suspicious.
“Chiyangwa has shown that he has the guile and push to take out game to the next level,” Mafu opined.
We hope he still feels the same even after Wilson Mutekede was confirmed as the Zifa TD.
But then again, you cannot blame people like Mafu for seeking to rear-shine some individuals in the upper echelons of the soccer governing body. They probably see how such an approach is serving one Xolisani Gwesela well.
American politician William Gibbs McAdoo once described former US president Warren G Harding’s speeches as “an army of pompous phrases moving across the landscape in search of an idea”.
He may as well have been speaking of Gwesela, the Zifa communications manager.
Legend has it that that the guy bootlicked Chiyangwa into surviving the tsunami that swept Jonathan Mashingaidze and several others out of Zifa.
After all, Gwesella works twice as much for half as much as far as communication is concerned.
Gwesela is not the most eloquent communications manager in the world and when he starts throwing in “pompous phrases that move across the landscape in search of an idea” the guy comes out as a joke.
Maybe he is desperate to show that he read big books as he studied at Midlands State University, but Gwesela needs to appreciate that the ultimate sophistication is simplicity.
Flabbergasted, brazen, masquerading, bona fide and fraudulent are some of the Zifa communications manager’s favourite words and he never misses a chance to throw them into his media comments.
Just last week Gwesela gave us some classic bootlicking as he reported on a grassroots coaching course that had Zifa vice president Omega Sibanda as the guest of honour.
“In a powerful speech which evinced Sibanda’s unrivalled passion for developmental football, he urged coach educators and provincial chairpersons to work in unison to lay the foundation of Zimbabwe’s football future.
“As the architect of the composition of the attendants of the grassroots course, Sibanda deliberately invited provincial chairpersons so that they would get an appreciation of the work they have to implement in their constituencies, working with coach educators,” Gwesela , I suspect, wrote on the Zifa website.
Omega Sibanda delivering a powerful speech? Please Xolisani, sit down.
Sir exits the scene!
- Sir is social media commentator and writes this satirical column in his personal capacity. Feedback: email@example.com