Can Tyson and Phidza write a Bible for mankind?

Phidza is accusing Tyson of asking for a $5 million bribe and he thinks he has a case. The real story and the real bribe is how did Phidza get 587 hectares of land in prime Stoneridge Farm? How?

Tsvangirai has been very busy over the past few days. He summoned a few over-excited puppies to the house that Government gave him. Joice was the first. She smiled like a well satisfied woman. Next was a whole Professor, that unwilling politician, Welshman Ncube. He grinned like a satisfied man. Tendai Biti will soon be a visitor at this Government house.

Let’s give it to Tsvangirai. He has really managed to whip the arrogant puppies into line. Just watch Biti when he visits that Government house. Muswe pakati pemakumbo. Manyemwe ese hwava! That’s Tsvangirai for you. His prodigal sons are coming back home.

I see many people have been missing the point. They keep talking of a coalition. I have said this before and I will say it now — hapachina coalition apa. Can’t you see its just Joice joining the MDC and the prodigal sons coming back home? Shuwa Morgan is more!

Big Brother must be smiling at this God-given opportunity. His job has never been made this easy. Zvese is happening mumba yedu yeGovernment. Morgan chakangwara wena? Kikkkikikiki!

Let me not waste time on Tsvangirai. Ngatisiyei Morgan aruke tsoro dzake. Ko Zanu-PF hindava kana kumbotya? Come on you revolutionary party! Show some fear and trepidation!

Now to this week’s sermon.

Philip Chiyangwa
Philip Chiyangwa

Philip Chiyangwa and Savior Kasukuwere have been opening their big mouths too much for the past few days. Today’s sermon comes from Ecclesiastes 5 vs 2-3 which says: “Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let your words be few. For the dream comes  through much effort and the voice of a fool through many words. ”

Todzika nayo pana Ecclesiastes 10 vs 13-14 which hammers the point saying:”The beginning of his talking is folly and the end of it is wicked madness. Yet the fool multiplies words. No man knows what  will happen, and who can tell him what will come after him?

The Holy Book, in Proverbs 17 vs 28 even discourages talking too much saying: “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues”.

Proverbs 10 vs 8 describes the overly talkative person as a “babbling fool”, a “prating fool”, or a “chattering fool” who will come to ruin. Proverbs 10 vs 19 warns that talking too much naturally leads to sin: “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

Phidza and Tyson should take heed of the Holy Book. Varume vakuru ava ngavatikwanire. They did and continue to do their dirty deals during the night. They are now washing their dirty linen in public accusing each other of very shameful deeds.

Phidza says Tyson recently asked him for a $5 million bribe to settle some shady land deal involving 587 hectares of land at Stoneridge Farm. Phidza went on and on accusing Tyson of all sorts of dirty things. Tyson decided to hit back saying a lot of crap that left this Bishop wondering kuti pane chikoro ipapa? Grown up men behaving like kindergarten kids and not even feeling bad about it.

But then zvekusakura kwavo ndezvavo and that’s not my story here. My issue is — between these two men, who can really write a Bible for mankind? Vanhu vamwari ndati ndiani mutsvene pavari?

Phidza is accusing Tyson of asking for a $5 million bribe and he thinks he has a case. The real story and the real bribe is how did Phidza get 587 hectares of land in prime Stoneridge Farm? How?

Just one individual owning 587 hectares of land?

Hey people, I am not talking about 587 metres. I am talking of 587 hectares. Please tell me how does this happen when millions of people can’t even get a metre of land in Harare?

There is something terribly wrong and Phidza should know that. Mr Government, please look into this bribe.

On the other hand, Tyson should really be ashamed of himself. A whole Minister asking for a bribe from a friend? Did you see Tyson’s response? He didn’t deny the bribery allegations. Instead he went on a tirade. Kana kutombonyara.

Don’t they say: “Open your mouth only if what you are going to say is more beautiful than the silence?”

Tyson should not forget we know of his land deals with Prophet Walter Magaya. We just parked that issue for another good sunny day. Bishop ziii zvavo for now.

My second issue is, while Phidza and Tyson are at each other’s throat, the ordinary people who should benefit from the land are forgotten. Completely forgotten. Only Phidza and Tyson matter. What nonsense?

That childish quarrel between Phidza and Tyson is a quarrel between very unholy people.

Matthew 7 vs 3 says: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

Why is Phidza seeing the speck of sawdust in Tyson’s eye and paying no attention to the plank in his own eye. Same with Tyson.

As Bishop Lazarus I say, we don’t care about this petty fight between Phidza and Tyson. That land belongs to the people and Government should make sure the people get back their land. Tuma funnies twana Phidza naTyson hatinei natwo.

Let’s not forget that the liberation struggle was about land and so this sensitive issue has to be handled with utmost care. Toda land yedu!

A few words of advice to Phidza and Tyson. “Quiet and silence is a form of power. Thoughtful and wise people are not talkative” and as the West African proverb goes: “A talkative bird will not build a nest.”

Varume vakuru ngavakwane!

Bishop is out!

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