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How to Pick the Perfect Wife in Zimbabwe - Zimbabwe Today
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How to Pick the Perfect Wife in Zimbabwe

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You have two options: You will get married or you won’t get married. If you will getmarried then this article is for you. We will not review whether or not you should get marriedbut we will review how to pick the right wife.

Picking the right wife is of utmost importance.Marriage is a life-long commitment and requires a great deal of forethought. Getting married without a plan and without any forethought is a terrible decision.

Getting married is a business decision. Marriage is a contract between two entities. You’ve got to enter into it with the ruthless mind of a determined businessman for it to work.

You’ve got to pick the right wife like a businessman picks a company to invest in. It shouldn’t be left to chance (“love”) – you’ve got to be pro-active, know what you want and then go after it.

Marriage isn’t about love or connecting with your soul-mate. Those are inventions of TV and movies. Marriage is an exchange of resources. Your wife shall provide A and you will provide B. If you’re wife doesn’t, or won’t, provide her share then she should not have the privilege of marriage with you.

Marriage is a contract and you’ve got to try your hardest to make sure that contract is re-inforced. You cannot make the best decision when you’re emotionally love-sick like a 16 year old school girl. No businessman who wants to stay in business will sign a contract in an emotional state of mind and no man who wants to stay married will sign all of his power away just because he loves her. It takes rational, clear-headed planning and thinking to pick the right wife material.

There are only two reasons a man should ever get married:

1) He wants to start a family.

2) His career or political ambitions demand he has a wife (he is interested in going into politics).  We will not talk about this except to say that a political wife is for show and show only. For this article we will assume the reader falls into the first category.

There is absolutely no other reason to ever get married. Love is not a reason to get married. When you get married you sign all your power over to your wife – it must be of some benefit for you to do so. That benefit is to grow old with your family.

The goals of a marriage should be:

1) Minimize the chance of divorce theft and child robbery.

2) Maximize wife’s happiness with her wifely and motherly duties (the complete opposite of everything you will see, read or hear). It’s not about empowerment (or any other buzzword designed to kill the modern family), she should be completely devoted to her family. True happiness for a woman comes from her family, it does not come from her career, or her “independence”, or her sexually liberated point of view.

3) Have a healthy, happy family with well educated, respectful children – non-sissified sons and girlish daughters with strong family values.

Be honest about what you want:

Most men don’t want an “independent, empowered” woman. That’s code for bitchy slut with a chip on her shoulder.

We all want a sweet, nice, joyful, feminine woman who treats her man like a King.

Bullshitters will suck up to the dregs and say the opposite in a futile attempt to get some action. These poor suckers get shit on the most and never understand why. Hear this gentlemen – women love men who go after what they want, who don’t take a woman’s BS seriously, and treat her like a woman, not like a man in drag. Women hate suck-ups as much as they hate stepping in dog poop on the street. To a woman, a male suck-up is less than human.


There is no denying that marriage is a very, very bad deal. When you get married you immediately give your wife all the power over your money and your children. “No-fault” divorce really means “his-fault” divorce. If you wife is to decide she wants a divorce she can have all the benefits of being marriedand none of the drawbacks. Divorce is theft from the man. It’s a redistribution of wealth from men to women. She can live off of your paycheck via alimony and child support and she can keep your children and raise them in a single-mother or step-daddy household. She has the complete and full support of Papa Government behind her. In the eyes of the law she can do no wrong and you can do no right. And there is nothing you can do about any of that. That’s why you have to choose the right wife in the first place to eliminate much of that risk.

Steps should be taken to minimize the chances of divorce. You must take extra special precaution to choosing the right wife so you can avoid the possibility of a financially devastating and family ruining divorce.

When to get married:

The best time for a man to get married is after 30 years of age. At that age he has had a long time to live life, earn money, think of what he wants in a wife, and settle down a little bit. The ages of 20-30 are the wild years but after the 30 year mark men will tend to settle down. Most men under 30 years of age aren’t mature enough to make the best decision about who to spend their life with.

Now remember, 30 years old is the starting age to think ofmarriage. That doesn’t mean you should get married at 30 or by 30. Anytime between 30-45 is a good time to tie the knot. Between the ages of 30-45 is when a mans marriage value is at its highest.

We have spoken about the need for a good woman here. In the following section we will look at how to determine good women from bad women.

The top 12 rules for picking the right wife to maximize a happy life and minimize the chance of divorce

1) She should be young.

The woman should 30 years of age MAXIMUM. 25 is even better and 20 is the best age.

A womans body does not age well. You want the most amount of years with your wife having a tight, young, firm body. After 30 it goes downhill fast. At around the age of 31 a woman’s beautyreally declines fast.

It’s a trade off, she gives you her good years and you put up with her in her bad years. Never take a woman already in her bad years.

Women do not age well. “Cougars”, older women that younger men find irresistable, are an invention of the movies. Single women over the age of 30 have wasted all their pretty years have a lot of random sex and now they want to find a sucker who will take care of them without having to give him any of her good years. Don’t be that sucker.

A young body is especially important for bearing children. Old women cannot have and don’t have healthy children. At 30 years of age a woman is already 15 years past her child-bearing prime.

But I like talking to smart women. 20 year olds are stupid.

Her IQ won’t grow much with age. A dumb 20 year old is a dumb 30 year old. The difference is that the 30 year old dumb woman is a lot more bitter and has a whole lot less to offer.

2) She has to come from an intact family with original mother and father.

No step-mommies and step-daddies. Children from single mommy homes cannot be healthy. A mother simply cannot raise healthy children alone or with step-daddies. You want an emotionally healthy wife. Women who grew up with divorce have too much baggage, use sluttery as a way to get attention from daddy, and will not know how to act in a proper family setting.

3) She cannot believe in divorce or even imagine getting a divorce.

If she mentions the word ‘divorce’, what to do in case of divorce, praises a friend who got a divorce, or says divorce is an option then she is not a keeper. Throw her back in the water and go fishing some more.

To make a marriage work, both the man and wife must think of divorce as no option at all.

4) She must have the natural body type you prefer.

Every woman will gain a few pounds when they settle with a man. It’s unavoidable. What is unacceptable is a woman blowing up to whale proportions. If a woman was once very fat, lost the weight on crash diets and ultra-gym sessions, that weight will ALL come back plus more when she gets married.

If she has to constantly diet and go to the gym she is about to blow up like a balloon when the ring is on her finger and the vows are spoken.

You must pick the natural body type you like. That means she must have the same body type her whole life, never yo-yo’ing up or down in weight.

She should have a pretty face. When her body goes the only thing that will be left is her face and you will have to see it every single day.

5) She must be image conscious.

A woman who gets pig-fat after marriage is a disgrace to herself and her family. She must be aware of her image and keep her body trim for you. Women will always gain a few pounds after marriage, but there is a difference between a few pounds and one hundred pounds. Take a look at all the women in her family, if they are all pig-fat it’s a good idea to walk away as fast as you can. You will have to see your wife daily, you don’t want to be thinking about skinning some bacon off  of her back to cook breakfast.

6) She must be family oriented and not career oriented.

This is going to be the mother of your children and the keeper of your house. An Ass-kicker doesn’t need two incomes, he can provide, what he needs is a keeper of home and heart.

Two income households leave the raising of their children to expensive day cares and schools, and then mommy goes to work so they can afford to pay for day care and babysitters.

I don’t want children.

Don’t get married. The only reason to get married is to have a family.

But I want a career woman.

Doesn’t matter, even if she is a career woman when you meet she will not be when she is older. No woman wants to work but it takes some of them a long time to figure that out. They waste all their youth playing/working their career and then realize what a huge mistake they made and leave their jobs to take care of their (quite possibly retarded – that’s what happens when old ladies have babies) child. How many 45 year old married female lawyers or other professionals do you know?

The women who work in middle age do so because they have no choice and they whine about it every day of their life. They would give anything to leave their jobs and take care of their family instead.

No woman truly wants to work. Work is a mans world and always will be. A woman’s work should be in the home taking care of the home and children.

7) She must be a “good” girl.

She cannot be a drinker or a smoker or have any tattoos. She cannot have a party girl past, a sordid past, and she cannot have gone out more than a couple times drinking. You cannot turn a whore into a housewife. The more sexual partners she has had the more likely the marriage will end in divorce.

Are you saying all party girls, smokers and drinkers are sluts?


The fewer sexual partners your wife has had, the better. The ideal wife should be a virgin. Remember: The more sexual partners she has had the more likely you are to be divorced in about 6 years and lose most of your money, possessions, and your children.

If you think she needs help or that you are helping her and she is changing then you are being foolish and you are being played. It’s going to end badly for you when you get hitched to a woman like this.

Always pick a good girl. That means a virgin (or close), family oriented, pleasant, eager to help, a smiler, and patient.

8) She must have no problem signing a pre-nuptial agreement.

A Pre-nup probably won’t save you much money, if any, in the case of divorce but her signing a pre-nup does one very important thing for you: it shows you she is serious about making the marriage work.

9) She should change herself for you.

When a woman is in love she will change herself to please and conform with you. Her new favorite food will become steak and eggs, she will enjoy watching all six Rocky movies with you, and she will do things to please you she has never done or liked before.

I don’t want a woman who flip-flops!

A woman who doesn’t flip-flop is a woman who does not respect you.

Women are not men and should not be held to the standards of men. A man who changes his views on the whims of a woman is a sissy. A woman who changes her views on the whims of a man is a woman who is in love. She should not be degraded for that because that’s what ‘keepers’ do.

10) She must look up to you and respect you.

Women marry up and men marry down, since the dawn ofmarriage. If she looks down on you she will leave with your money and your children. You’ve got to be a man that she can look up to, admire, love and respect – always.

11) She should not have any children from a previous affair.

In the animal kingdom when a Lion takes over a pride he kills the cubs of other Lions.

Raising someone else’s child is cuckoldry with your full knowledge and consent.

If you raise someone else’s child you will be taking care of another mans seedling and there willalways be another man in the picture.

Be selfish and keep your wife and children to yourself. They should be yours and only yours. Don’t settle for another mans leavings and sloppy seconds.

Here is what women with children do: They have unprotected sex with a stud, get knocked up, and look for a sucker to raise the bastard.


She has already been married, had children, and then divorced the father and left.

In each case the woman is unfit for marriage.

12) She should be a smiler.

She should smile when she sees you. Her eyes should light up. She should be excited each time she sees you and reward you with her beautiful smile.

A big, bright shining smile from a pretty girl is worth more than any university degree she has, worth more than any job she has, worth more than any other baloney modern women wrongly believe makes them attractive to men.

You want a happy woman. You don’t want a frowning, nagging, pessimistic bride.

Always pick a smiling, warm, happy-go-lucky woman to share your life with.

Things to remember:

American women have been indoctrinated since birth to believe in and embrace divorce. They have been indoctrinated and instructed to believe that their feminine instincts are wrong and bad. This causes a great deal of confusion in their minds and, to put it plainly, many of them are unfit for marriage and raising a family. Especially avoid women who use psychiatric drugs and especially avoid women who go to therapy. Therapy only makes women more insane and teaches them to blame men more for their problems.

Party girls are for fun, good girls are for marriage.

If a woman cannot or will not cook daily, how will she ever care for children? She can’t. To raise non-fat children you mustmarry a woman who can and will cook.

As a man your options do not dwindle as you age. Your options only increase with your age and wealth. Conversely, as a woman ages her options plummet. That’s because men age gracefully, like a fine wine, and women age like milk. That’s why you must pick a beautiful young lady. It is highly advisable for a man to wait until he is a little older to get married. 30 years of age is an acceptable starting age for a man to start thinking ofmarriage.

Never, ever take advice from a woman on how to be attractive to women. Be nice, be yourself, be courteous, buy her gifts only works to put you in the friend zone and rightfully so because it’s pathetic behavior.

You should avoid women who have a lazy, entitled, “me-first” attitude.

Don’t let your wife have complete and utter control of the home decor. You don’t want to live in emasculation-station with throw pillows and doilies and dolls and flowers everywhere.

Men are not women and women are not men. Things that women should do do not apply to men and vice versa. Double standards exist. That’s life.

You are the leader. She is the follower. Lead her.

When she loves and respects you she will enjoy all things about you. She will not demand and nag you into changing. If you smoke a big fat cigar and your clothes smell like an ashtray she will enjoy the smell. She should want to sleep in one of your shirts because it has your smell. That’s the power you should have over your wife for her to be happy and content.

If she’s a nagger before marriage then that is a sign you need to give her her walking papers. Nothing is going to get better with marriage, it will only amplify.

Marriage should be old school traditional for it to work. Pick a non-traditional woman and have some baloney non-traditionalmarriage and you can expect non-traditional results: Alimony payments, child support payments and seeing your children every other weekend.

Never get married just because. Have a purpose and a reason for the things you do.

Getting married is a dangerous proposition – make sure you know how to swim before you dive in head-first.

Dealing with the one who got away:

There are over 3 billion women in the world. The median age for women the entire world over is 29 years old. There are millions of women who are possible marriage material. “She” isn’t the one or your soul-mate or other baloney. There are millions just like her. And if she was your soul-mate you’d still be together. Let her go and move on. There are plenty more where she came from.

Personal recommendation  to find a suitable wife:

Picking a woman from your own country and culture is always the best solution. Unfortunately, there is wholesale, systematic destruction of marriage and family in many 1st world countries, especially America and England, which has narrowed the options tremendously. One may have a broader selection if he were to go abroad to another country country where marriageand family are still valued. But, and this is a big but, think long and hard before you marry a woman of another race and father half-breed children.

Remember, it is best to marry a woman of your culture and race. If that option is unappealing for the reasons described above there is a whole, big, wide world for you to choose from.


Growing old alone and with no children to carry on your name seems a worse prospect than following this checklist and picking the best wife you can.

Civilization exists because of the nuclear family. Certainlymarriage has been tainted in the last 50 years, to the detriment of all, but if you make smart decisions you can cut down your risk tremendously.

If you are going to get married, do it the smart way.

If you aren’t going to get married go ahead and have a beer.

Good luck and Godspeed.

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  1. Ndangoti Tiwonesane...

    awesome!!!!!!! totally emancipating. what a great read!!

  2. What a sexist, opinionated, dumb article. This is what some people think in their heads. You need Christ to set you free from such weird thoughts.

    • What a prolific writer!! Quite some unadulterated home truths dished with scathing bluntness! Clearly the likes of Tendai revel in the moral decadence which invariably is the shameless pursuit of these self anointed champions of women emancipation. No doubt vitriol will be spewed against the writer for daring to write what any self respecting level headed person knows to be the reason grandma and grandpa grew old together. Call the article sexist , male chauvinism or any other decorative names, the truth has been spoken! Shoko harivhikwi! Chati “homu” chareva! Vakomana mazvinzwira, ati rima nepapo ati ugute!

    • This is so on point. I wish the girls would listen but of coz most won’t.
      Ladies treasure yourselves, this is exactly how most men think, ignore this at your own peril.

    • Tendai,this is reality served cold.Let’s just learn to reside with it.

  3. kkkkkkkk l thot you were goin to say s0me sance when l looked at the topic but you way offline l would be ashamed if l were you didnt bother to finish the article coz the substance is a high sounding nothing or in other words sublime mist

  4. this is one of the best articles I have read in a long long time, truthful and straight to the point. I know a lot of our blood and money sucking women will detest this.

  5. How to pick a good husband in zimbabwe, Dont marry sexist retarded dickheads like this guy 🙂

  6. That’s sick thinking. I’m surprised some people believe this as facts of life. It’s proof of how much materialistic greedness cancer has spread in Zimbabwe. I wonder some people believe are living miserable materialistic lives of chasing the wind without any happiness to those levels. If you marry with such values all you breed are big headed heartless psychos. You are a danger to society. People like you should not be allowed to breed or any space in public media. Sick sick sick!

  7. Come on people! Are you really agreeing to the point that love is a creation of tv and movies not for marriage? Really! If you believe that you have been slowly drifting from humanity to being robots. You need a long complex therapeutic treatment to bring you back if not serious prayers. Even in Western world, the home of capitalism, I have never read that level of hotchpotch of Devils incarnation.

  8. This article is one of the best reads i have had in a long time. He has told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. In a world where the fight to address Gender imbalances has been initiated from the West, African women have become confused as they have failed to find a system that is customised to their traditional beliefs. That is why you are findng a lot of bitter divorced women out there. Call this author chauvanist or an a**hole, but he has told the truth. Having graduated from the Midlands State University myself, i was exposed to a very large demographic of these “Empowered”, “Independent” and “Globalised” women, who had been educated in the Western way of Gender emancipation…and trust me, the results were harrowing. It is not just by coincidence that the MSU is always on the news for prostitution, sex tapes or some other sexual taboo from its women, and after college she meets up with you and expects marriage?? this is just a case study of this generation of women.

    To all my brothers aout there if you are wise take heed of the man’s advice and use it as a template to find a woman for marriage. Ignore these useless, spent feminists varikutaura zvisina basa ava, tsvaga mukadzi anehunhu, kwete tsvina idzi. Mahure ndeekufara nawo vaskana voroorwa, full stop!

    • Richard K Macklin

      grandma sit down!!!

    • Wonder what you would say if you had a daughter and died and the reason she was unfit is because mommy decided to raise her on her own?This article is not based on facts bt rather the writers twisted opinion of women…all i see here is a low self esteem, fear of a woman who is powerful.Simply put he needs lessons on being a man

      • This guy is giving fellow men a template of red flags to check for when finding a woman to marry. Yes, there are instances in which some women raised by single mothers grow up with morals, but the truth is they are very hard to find. Most women who grow up in single families have an existentiality crisis and “Daddy issues”, usually suffering from some sort of mental health issue. Just take a snap survey of most prostitutes you meet. This is an actual fact proven by research ie; Dr Gabriel Gobbi et al., Mcgill University, Canada and many more

        • My dad was killed in a car crash and for those women who mostly grew up in single parented families are because the “Daddy” issues were dead beat dads who couldnt take responsibility of their kids. Men who are quick to jump into bed and quick run when it comes to taking responsibility. i find it funny how men who love sleeping around want to find a seriously?Anyway why should anyone lose sleep over the opinion of a sheep. Its the writers opinion and not fact.How dumb can one be, pledge not to divorce, yet forced sign a pre-nup..then not expected tpo gain weight over the wtf..get a barbie doll cos clearly you arent looking for a human being

    • Feminine feminist

      Every “mukadzi” and “hure” as you classify them is firstly a human being created by God with hopes and dreams. Secondly, they are all somebody’s daughters, and you men are the ones out there wanting to take advantage of them, use them and then throw them away, only to look for a so-called good girl. On what grounds are you deserving of this so-called good girl. Stop hating and verbally abusing women. Tsvina, really?!

    • What in the world are you talking about.Im tired of Zimbabweans who mistreat people especially girls who have studied abroad.Stop being bitter about other peoples opportunities.I went abroad to get the best education for myself not for the benefit of you or to be indoctrinated by western values.So please sir you obviously need to be educated on how to appreciate life.There is nothing wrong with being a feminist first of all the author of this article had a strong opinion on men,are you calling him a masculinist?i don’t think so and second of all “mahure ndeekufrara nawao,vasikana vekurorara..sir you are wasting your time because as you are having your wild days women are going ahead of you and when you are ready to settle we have settled with other men of continents and races that know what being a real man is all about.Do you think women make sex tapes alone,its always the women put on the front page and never the man ???.so sir please kindly take your place in a society that has been brainwashed to oppress women.I am a very loving person and very family oriented something i value about myself,but behind that is also a women who aims to set an example for her children on how important it is to set yourself apart from others and go beyond your goals and capabilites..Be strong and ambitious as much as you wish.Kwete zvekuita nonsense hurts men in our society that we know sit with them in board rooms,sorry dears its a hard pill to swallow.So kindly just force it down your throat.

      • Haha…then by all means, marry the foreign guy my dear sister. This article was termed “how to pick the right wife in Zimbabwe” meaning it was meant for a Zimbabwean man looking to find a Zimbabwean wife, basically the Do’s and Dont’s. Getting an education is definitely not a bad thing and i myself would love to have an educated wife whether the education was Local or Foreign…that by the way is not the question here. I am talking about how some women from colleges misinterpret the meaning of Gender emancipation and end up being identified as Mahure, hence the example of Msu women.

        You can argue with me all you want on how unfair African society is on the expectations of a decent woman, but the fact still remains. We are in Africa and we have a culture…if you’re an AFRICAN man intending to marry an AFRICAN woman, then try to follow those guildelines as much as you can. Otherwise you are just going to waste your time with a culturally confused woman and end up in divorce, further ruining your kids.

    • African women are confused? And what do you an African man know about the emotions and thoughts of African women? I think you are the one confused by the anti-western mumbo jumbo spewed by every African leader from here to Timbaktu. And on the point of sexual promiscuity at MSU – do these girls chase after and force these apparently innocent men into bed?
      Women wanting to be treated equally isn’t a western innovation my friend, it’s a human need and right. After all the leaders whose anti-western line you seem to be so intent to applying to this situation did so too. My advice step into the light man: everyone deserves to be treated equally and no one is perfect – emotionally, psychological or sexually. Finally,grow a pair and trust that your self-worth won’t be compromised by a woman having hers.

      • As much as we are going to rant on about how men are also drunkards and fuck around, in the end the fact is this. Our culture has taboo’s for men and taboo’s for women. Drinking and casual sex unfortunately is a no no for women just as much as having the wife as the breadwinner in a household with the a male figure. Getting married to a woman who does not see her cultural taboos as such will only result in disaster. Basically that is what my brother is saying

  9. What shocks me is the level of detail this person went into writing this stupid article. Seriously dude? First thought it was a joke (still hoping it is) but going deep like that you oughta be some sick male chauvinist. Disgusted.

  10. it’s brutal…but much of it is true. the less baggage you want form a woman the more of the points raised you take seriously.

  11. Richard K Macklin

    This is the dumpiest article I have read in a long long time. So much judgement….so much “perfection'” Its 2015 and some people still have 1912 ideologies. She mustn’t drink, smoke, or have tattoes…??? what a retard

  12. Hehehe. Awww shame. Someone has had his poor little heart broken a few tooo many times. Boo-hoo! Newsflash. Hakuuuuna mukadzi akadai. Writer of this article and those who agree with him need to marry robots which they can programme full stop nga. Ndaseka zvangu ini. Shem maningi!

  13. Half truth and Half BS. Homie you need to wake up and smell the coffee. I am just going to pick an example from your article just to demonstrate why its such BS. First you mention never to think or consider divorce, then you go on to advise on a pre-nup. Mukunyatsotii nhai tsano. This is the same mentality that led to a lady being stripped at Copa-cabana.

  14. Nyari Mashayamombe

    holy cow crap!!! i couldnt even finish this b***** how does one get such time to waste on crap like putting women in a box that they stayed in the 1800? Jeez cant imagine this piece of *** crap!!!

  15. obviously written by a investment banker or financial analyst

  16. That was about 6 or so minutes of my life I will never ever get back. I thought there would be something stating it’s a joke or “how not to think when choosing a wife”… Sigh

  17. Rubbish…Great writer but rubbish article.

  18. This is the dumbest article ive ever read. i just wasted 5 minutes of my life reading this artile that i will never get back.

  19. I can’t believe i wasted 2 minutes of my life (which I will never get back) reading this garbage, obviously written by a man who has no concept of what it takes to make a relationship ( I suspect he gets rejected a whole lot by women). This man cannot even relate to a woman as another human being and he lays down instructions like he talking about how to handle a pet. Men like this should definitely not procreate. If you do not know how to love u will definitely be a bad husband and father. Save the world and remain single!!!!

  20. This is a load of bullshit bruh, utter crap. Foh and miss me with that bullshit. You childish af for writing this

  21. I would say shame on you, but that would suggest anything about you is worth shaming.
    I think this article goes to the depth of what’s wrong with African man – people like you! You give us such a bad rep via your disgusting sexist behavior, and now here you are putting all this garbage into words, on the internet! The most tragic thing about all you’ve said is that now that it’s on the internet, even more people will have reason to judge the rest of us.

  22. i pay stupidity no mind…bye

  23. I would like to know the Caveman responsible for this useless and sexist article… where did you do your research?

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