President Robert Mugabe Threatens to Throw Donald Trump in Den of Lions if He Ever Steps In Zimbabwe

Zimbabwe President Robert Gabriel Mugabe has fired back at the newly elected President of USA, Donald J. Trump, vowing to throw him into a den of lions in one of the maximum prisons in Zimbabwe.

“If he thinks I am same age as him, he must come to Zimbabwe and I will teach him a lesson. I am the most powerful leader across all Africa, and if he keeps making fun of me, I will lock him up in Chikurubi Maximum Prison and make sure my boys feed him mice and sadza 3 times a day, let’s see if he likes that.”
Chikurubi Prison is a maximum security male prison in Zimbabwe. Located on the outskirts of the country’s capital, Harare, the prison is known for its overcrowding and poor sanitary conditions. Cells typically measure 9 metres (30 ft) by 4 metres (13 ft), and there can be as many as 25 prisoners housed in each cell. They spend much of the day locked up and have few recreational opportunities.
Mugabe was very angry after hearing that the leader of the free world, Donald Trump, was planning to lock Mugabe in prison for trampling on Zimbabweans human rights.
Addressing Zimbabwe war veterans, the shriveled 92 year old leader of the southern African country who has been in power for 36 years old yelled, “Trump is a small boy who doesn’t know anything about statecraft and politics. Zimbabwe is a sovereign nation with a strong army of well paid and well fed soldiers, including a reserve of 100 000 experienced war veterans who are ready to pounce on colonialists like Trump. Do not force me to unleash the Zimbabwe vicious armed forces and war veterans at you Donald and your folk – you will regret the day you were born”.
“Keep your America, and I will keep my Zimbabwe!”
A thunderous crowd of Zimbabwe war veterans ensued as the looked aggravated that the US leader was threatening their leader Robert Mugabe and fought and overpowered the British in an armed struggle, resulting in the British surrendering power to Mugabe in 1980.
Mugabe has been in power since.
Meanwhile, Robert Mugabe is next to go and accept food aid from USA to feed his starving population after he reprocessed farms from white farmers in the late 1990s.

Check Also

Mwonzora Hits Ground Running

Newly elected MDC-T President Douglas Mwonzora has taken control of the party and immediately hit …


  1. I always like Mugabe’s alleged speeches to be backed with a video clip! Especially when the news comes through publications like this one

  2. Avner Eliyahu Romm

    We shall see who is going to be thrown in a den of lions, and I take a bet that it will be Sultan Mulai Mugabe the Bloodthirsty who will be thrown there.

  3. Fuck mugabe

  4. Mugabe will have to look far and wide for lions. His people had to resort to bushmeat for a while now, just in order to get a bite to eat. And in any event Zimbabweans have been selling the country’s lions to American dentists for a while now. Whahahahahahahaha!!! The old dictator is becoming more demented by the hour. What a sad and slow way to die. But he certainly derserves it, for what he has done to his people and his country.

  5. Someone needs a diaper change!

This function has been disabled for Zimbabwe Today.