If you land in Bulawayo on a Wednesday or Thursday evening you may soon want to get on the next flight back.
Except there probably wouldn’t be a flight out of the city at that time so you will be forced to shack up and savour the sunshine on the morrow, which will happen to be a Thursday or Friday.
With the people you will see during the day, who will freely be clamped in revealing heavenly garments as they celebrate summer, something will tell you that these people, who seem to be keen sleepers, may in fact have more life than you will have imagined.
Fast forward to the night and you will find that your decision to stay longer was not misplaced; and that is exactly what the visitors to the City Of Kings experienced when they dropped by for the Sanganai/Hlanganani travel expo recently.
You see while they may be in hibernation for the early days of the week, Bulawayo knows how to party!
There is Babongile Sikhonjwa. Standing at the mouth of his Red Café establishment bellowing orders to make sure that everyone who enters conforms to the dress code and is over 23!
Yes, over 23. A mature crowd that has the chance to enjoy their money without having to contend with the cheap perfume of the non-working under 23 crowd. It’s a healthy idea for the sharks to swim amongst their own.
Or perhaps for the person seeking an urban mile establishment venue then definitely Zarah Lounge, with its posh and suave décor speaks the language of discerning opulence and the rush of the blood to the head celebrating youth.
Or a hop to Crystal Bar. Once a dingy place that harboured the least sophisticated any city can bring together, the club is now upmarket and boasts a sophisticated crowd that appreciates everything right down to the delightful décor.
Phathisani Nkomo, the man behind it dreams a cosmopolitan dream and it is almost palpable in the new world visuals all around that punctuate the décor.
Further down town would be Private Lounge. Yes, that Private Lounge which offers adult entertainment and everything delightful in between. Where the girls crawl on all fours and make one think they are in the middle of a flesh filled jungle with untamed animals waiting to devour you if you get out of your seat. Like going on a game drive. But if you get off, the girls, whom you will be looking at, will maul you.
A visit to the southern kingdom is never complete without the private affair.
And those mad dances that are exhibited at Café Baku. A club that has hardly changed anything with regards décor ever since it blew open its doors but still has a niche market of reveller that will never run out until the end of the world.
And boy can they dance. And boy do they dance! So when one day you get into a sleepy town. Boring. Dead. One with wide streets called Bulawayo and are tempted to leave and find joy elsewhere. Hold that thought and wait for the weekend to begin. Because when weekend rolls into town, your party life will never be the same again . . . 0not ever!