By Luke Tamborinyoka
HARARE – Our worst fears have finally been confirmed! Robert Mugabe wants to remain in office forever.
It has now been confirmed that the man wants to leave State House and head straight for the Heroes’ Acre, dashing national expectation that at 90, the nonagenarian could be considering retiring.
George Charamba, Mugabe’s top aide and an acerbic and pompous columnist in The Herald, confirmed that Africa’s oldest ruler will only leave office to go to the grave!
Charamba wrote that after the Zanu PF Congress, there would be a new framework of government that would take care of the succession issues once the man is gone.
In his weekly column in The Herald, Mugabe’s aide ominously wrote that Mugabe’s “planning vista was a lot broader and futuristic. Posthumous, in fact….”
It was lost on our media that the key revelation in Charamba’s piece was the “posthumous” reference, which implied that the unpopular dictator, struggling in his dotage to keep the party together, wants to die in office.
Charamba hints at a post-Congress arrangement that could accommodate both the MDC and the contending factions in Zanu PF, “thereby guaranteeing smooth transitions whenever they are due.” (read “thereby guaranteeing a smooth transition when the President passes on).
Charamba tells us that had Tsvangirai accepted defeat after July 31, Mugabe had plans to sneak him into Parliament as leader of the opposition after creating space for him by deploying an MDC parliamentarian as an ambassador.
In the same script where he tells us his boss will only leave office after his death, Mugabe’s pompous and vituperative mouthpiece attacks the same man from whom the government expects legitimation.
He says Mugabe had plans for “this foolish man from Buhera.”
If Tsvangiai is foolish, George, why make special plans to accommodate him, especially if Mugabe defeated him in a free and fair election, as you want us to believe?
Why go out of your way, George, to accommodate a man who was vanquished in a credible electoral process?
What is so special about this particular fool, George? What competence do fools have to warrant special arrangements for accommodation?
If you are not yourselves unsettled by your so-called electoral victory, why give a precondition for Tsvangirai’s endorsement, which endorsement has now suddenly assumed more importance than the endorsement by Sadc and the AU?
Understandably, George did not wish to address these uncomfortable questions in his column, where every week he tries to sound very educated when in actual fact he is a disastrous political communicator!
For the record, Morgan Tsvangirai will never ever endorse that fraud that was the 2013 election, which Tsvangirai himself has described as having been “a monumental farce”.
If Zanu PF is waiting for the day that Tsvangirai will legitimise that election, they will have to wait till the cows come home!
The offer to accommodate Tsvangirai seems based on a vacuous premise that the MDC leader is so materialistic that a few perks to accompany his new rehashed status will silence his shrill national cry for a return to legitimacy through a credible election!
Zanu PF’s desperation for Tsvangirai’s competent hand on the wheel of government is understandable. But once bitten twice shy!
Baba Eddie will never again accept any invitation that will give Zanu PF an undeserved lifeline.
Zanu PF claims to have overwhelmingly won the last election, so they must go ahead and govern.
They must not require “foolish” men to assist them!
With the First family now a stooge of the Dinyane motley and with a provincial party chairperson being hounded out of office every day, Mugabe thinks Joice Mujuru is at the centre of the national crisis.
In his dotage, he is so out of touch with reality that he thinks accommodating Tsvangirai or getting rid of Mujuru will solve out this debilitating economic crisis.
We have learnt the hard way that any new architecture of government imposed on a Zanu PF bureaucratic structure will not work. You have to destroy Zanu PF’s hegemony on the bureaucracy and on State entities first.
The answer to our crisis is simple. It is a return to legitimacy through a credible, free and fair election.
In the meantime, Tsvangirai will not pander to any preconditions.
*Luke Tamborinyoka doubles up as spokesperson to MDC leader Morgan Tsvangirai and the director of Information and Publicity in the party.